If you could sit with a group of giggly little girls, you’d quickly hear their hearts as they lavishly plan their future weddings along with all that they imagine a perfect fairytale story should unveil. It is the vision of perfect bliss and all that little female minds can conjure up in an early portrayal of their futures as they act it out with young friends also dreaming of True Love. Hardly has there ever been a little girl who hasn’t donned some heels and her mother’s jewelry as she pranced around in whatever white garments she could get her finger paint-stained hands on… Such a picture of pure innocence! In none of her thoughts are the realities of the hard work that goes into maintaining this imaginative world. And as most women go, there is still that lingering list of ideologies that we hang on to as the years go by, waiting for our Prince. Deep down, these are the very things we long for as we capture the essence of our fairytale marriage in words that describe “What a Girl Wants”…TrueLove
Adoration
Care
Commitment
Romance
Loyalty
Honesty
Dependability
Trust
Provision
To be Valued
To be Heard
To be Surprised
To Have Her Dreams Supported
A Place of Belonging
Respect
Humor
Protection
Affection
A Godly Husband
And of course,To know what we are thinking!
Certainly attainable, yet like the tides that change, these desired attributes may not reveal themselves wholly in our man. As seasons of Nature change, so do the seasons of our marriages. At times, it may seem like all of these things are present; and in the next season, it may seem as if we are barely hanging on to what few are actually shining forth from these men we have built up in our minds. And the struggle becomes real. And the struggle remains the reality. This my dear Sisters, is where the “for better or for WORSE”, “for richer or for POORER” and “in SICKNESS and in health” plays out. Because you see, all our little girl dreams cannot compute the harshness of life as it ebbs and flows in its seasons of growth- or death. This is where the real work comes in. Just as we may tend to idolize this dreamy vision of marriage, men also have a certain picture in their minds of what they are looking for. And this picture looks different for every man and every couple. Because of our sin nature, as much as we desire to live up to these standards of expectations that differ from one marriage to another, it takes two to move toward the growth that can come about as we navigate these seasonal tidal waves. And when we fall short, we must remember that our man is simply what we imagined- a Prince. There is someone else who takes a more pivotal, precious, and perfect role in our lives, and He is King. King Jesus longs to fill the role of “husband” for those of us who have yet to marry our Prince- and for those of us who have realized our husbands are just as human as we are in our choices and mistakes, we can rest assured this marriage is a Powerhouse only when we invite in that 3rd Wheel… Jesus. He alone can fulfill this list to completion…
TRUE LOVE(Romans 5:8- “…but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”)
ADORATION(Psalms 22:8- “He trusts in the Lord; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, for He delights in him!”)
CARE(Job 10:12- “You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit.”)
COMMITMENT(Luke 23:46- “Then, Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this He breathed His last.” *There has never been a stronger commitment to any one of us than in that moment- to lay down His life for us.)
ROMANCE(Romans 12:9- “Let love be genuine…”)
LOYALTY(Psalms 36:5- “Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.”)
HONESTY(1 Peter 2:22- “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth.”)
DEPENDABILITY(Luke 21:33- “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.”)
TRUST(Psalms 71:5- “For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O’ Lord, from my youth.”)
PROVISION(Philippians 4:19- “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”)
TO BE VALUED(Matthew 10:31- “Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”)
TO BE HEARD(Psalms 116:1+2-“I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live.”)
TO BE SURPRISED(Psalms 136:4- “…to Him alone who does great wonders, for His steadfast love endures forever;…”)
TO HAVE HER DREAMS SUPPORTED(Proverbs 16:3- Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”)
A PLACE OF BELONGING(Romans 1:6- “…including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ, …”)
RESPECT(Leviticus 26:12- “I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people.”)
HUMOR(Job 8:21- “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.”)
PROTECTION(Proverbs 18:10- “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.”)
AFFECTION(James 4:8- “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”)
A GODLY HUSBAND (Isaiah 61:10- “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks Himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”)
AND OF COURSE,TO KNOW WHAT WE ARE THINKING!(Psalms 94:10a+11- “He who teaches man knowledge- the LORD- knows the thoughts of man…”)
His love flows through the cracks in our hearts that are left unfulfilled and they are slowly filled as His Grace rises to the top. Everything we long for in our man, He can fulfill to the umpteenth degree. For the first Valentine’s gift He could ever bestow on His Bride- was His death on a cross for you and for me. His blood poured out in order to fill the gap that human failure, whether intentional or unintentional, brings. The reason for this free gift of Salvation was the LAVISH LOVE He holds in His heart for us. Our marriages can become a reflection of this Christ-like love in how we love and honor our spouses regardless of our human frailties. It is a two-way choice between a Prince and his Princess. And King Jesus always chooses us. There is a beloved old hymn that sings of “and He walks with us and He talks with us…and He tells me I am His own…” What a beautiful picture of the Bridegroom and His Bride. No words have ever filled a page with a more perfect love story than the one told to the hearts of man who wrote the pages of the best book that has ever been written- the Bible. The Greatest Love Story Ever Told? It is that of the sacrificial love of Jesus to the hearts of those little giggly girls and those they will one day proclaim their hearts to. Invite King Jesus to be your 3rd Wheel and your favorite Valentine.
SPEAK LIFE Ministries with Patience West 